Things Best Said (written lovingly with pixels)

On writing (and other semi-pompous thoughts)

For all the reasons the internet is bad: it makes you lethargic to true research, ruins your eyesight with all that reading (and pictures!), it may trick you into believing Fox News is a source of real information* and ultimately fills your head with enough hopscotch-induced sensory overload to make it pop Scanners-style, But, beyond those things, there actually are a some good things on the ‘net. A few sparkly bits, a cubic zirconium in the rough, if you will.

Today’s gem is a series of writers giving their 10 Rules for writing fiction. It’s a good read, yet another top 10 list, from a varied set of writers, some of whom I’ve never read.

In the odd chance you’re hopscotching through the web today and want only a snippet, here are my 10 favorite bits from that article:

Al Kennedy: Remember writing doesn’t love you. It doesn’t care. Nevertheless, it can behave with remarkable generosity. Speak well of it, encourage others, pass it on.

Neil Gaiman: Laugh at your own jokes.

Esther Freud: A story needs rhythm. Read it aloud to yourself. If it doesn’t spin a bit of magic, it’s missing something.

Geoff Dyer: Never worry about the commercial possibilities of a project. That stuff is for agents and editors to fret over – or not. Conversation with my American publisher. Me: “I’m writing a book so boring, of such limited commercial appeal, that if you publish it, it will probably cost you your job.” Publisher: “That’s exactly what makes me want to stay in my job.”

Al Kennedy: Defend yourself. Find out what keeps you happy, motivated and creative.

Roddy Doyle: Do not place a photograph of your ­favourite author on your desk, especially if the author is one of the famous ones who committed suicide.

Anne Enright:  Imagine that you are dying. If you had a terminal disease would you ­finish this book? Why not? The thing that annoys this 10-weeks-to-live self is the thing that is wrong with the book. So change it. Stop arguing with yourself. Change it. See? Easy. And no one had to die.

Jonathan Franzen: It’s doubtful that anyone with an internet connection at his workplace is writing good fiction.

Al Kennedy: Have humility. Older/more ­experienced/more convincing writers may offer rules and varieties of advice. ­Consider what they say. However, don’t automatically give them charge of your brain, or anything else – they might be bitter, twisted, burned-out, manipulative, or just not very like you.

Richard Ford: Don’t drink and write at the same time.

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* Only a few have been tricked. The weaker few.