I despise reality tv. I watch a fair share of it, but that doesn’t mean i want to further its existence.

I don’t want to see that glass full of bug pulp being consumed on Fear Factor, or the disfunctional Teutul family on American Chopper, or even the celebrity leftovers/has-beens on The Surreal Life…except that I do.

I’m taken, awestruck and immobilized. This is the same reaction many of us have when we suddenly find ourselves at the back of a long line of cars. Somewhere ahead is a car accident. The cars ahead rubberneck and keep the road aglow with a wash of breaklights. We pretend to be upset and frustrated at why the other drivers can’t just move on. But, we do the same when our turn comes. We slow, gawking, and hope to see what we really don’t want to see.

Reality tv works in just that way. We don’t want to watch but we do. And television producers, network executives and adversiting buyers know it. There’s nothing better than a good (or terrible) celebrity bloodletting on TV to help sell that brand new, improved, better-than-you-remember whatchamahoogie.

In, so much as it can, I think that reality tv has passed it’s own Jump the Shark moment. The phrase, taken from a moment on the television show Happy Days, illustrates when a show, or in this case - a type of television, has outlived it’s usefulness. In an episode, the character of Fonzie wagers that he can, on water skis, jump across a captive shark. Of course, as is the saccarin and beloved style of Happy Days, Fonzie does jump the shark. His hair and requisite leather jacket perfectly in place. Tonight I feel that point has come for reality television.

Quickly, as not to attract any more attention than my bored channel-surfing does, I flipped past an episode of Tommy Lee goes to college. As a drummer of the 80s-90s rock band Motley Crue (sans umlauts, sorry) we got what we expected, a heavily-tattooed, hard-lving rocker. In the late 90s we found out that Tommy’s filmmaking skills needed refinement. Now, we’re at the mercy of some network shill who thinks the ‘fish out of water’ scheme is worthy of a primetime slot.

Tommy Lee gets to go to college and we get to watch. Of all the things money could be spent producing, not the least of which is on education for some *real* students. The NBC dollar was spent on (and, I’m getting this from the website, not experience) the opportunity to be in the University of Nebraska at Lincoln marching band, try out for the swim team and be tutored by some blonde co-ed named Natalie.

Of all the reasons I don’t watch, the biggest is I don’t want to be proven wrong. I don’t want to know that Tommy Lee is really a genius. I don’t want to know that we’ve had him all wrong. The knowledge that he’s, perhaps, some Rhodes Scolar or Nobelaureate might be devastating. It could put me right off books of real social value.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, an episode of Overhaulin’ is almost over. There’s a fella whos old, rusty car has been reworked with loving care and he’s about to cry.
—–

COMMENT:
AUTHOR: Anonymous
DATE: 8/31/2005 06:05:53 AM
At the end of life as the last breath is being exhaled he rasps, “If only I could have seen that final episode.”
—–

COMMENT:
AUTHOR: Anonymous
DATE: 8/31/2005 10:31:50 AM
“Of all the reasons I don’t watch, the biggest is I don’t want to be proven wrong. I don’t want to know that Tommy Lee is really a genius.”

I’ve watched. He’s *exactly* who you think he is. He may be “smart” in his own way but he is by no means a genius.

He’s exactly what you would expect of a Motley Crue drummer.
—–

COMMENT:
AUTHOR: Shawn King

DATE: 8/31/2005 10:37:58 AM
Above post is mine. Stupid blogger.com….
—–