I’ve been disecting things for a while. They’re playing over in my head like a series of “choose-your-own-adventure” stories. I always start at the same place and push through a series of decisions opting for (nay, looking for) different results.

We all do this, we all spend our time milling over the fine details or the broad strokes of what makes a decision good or bad. Right or wrong. Better or worse.

I’m reaching an end to some patience with waiting.

I’m not getting any younger and the decision is getting avoided. Not only is it getting avoided, to those in the know, it’s like a big pink elephant in the room that everyone has to pretend is not there.

I’m just at a loss as to what’s worth fighting for in this scenario.

Friendship that’s based on a common purpose but without real benefits (and may, very well, go away if not for that common purpose). Or, just swallowing the pride of not being compensated.

i don’t know.